


the beanie baby problem

by meowy_times



Series: Tsukkiyama Week 2020 (meowy_times) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gen, I should stop, M/M, Museum trip, Oblivious Yamaguchi Tadashi, Plushies, Yamaguchi is clueless, and oblivious, how am i supposed to know that tag exists, i love plushies, lets say he was suffering, poor tsukki, sort of angst but not really, they cute, what are tags, yamaguchi why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowy_times/pseuds/meowy_times
Summary: Fake dating Tsukki would be easy.Fake breaking up with Tsukki would be easier.So why wasn’t it?Tsukkiyama 2020 Day 1: Fake Relationship
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: Tsukkiyama Week 2020 (meowy_times) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892143
Comments: 4
Kudos: 122
Collections: TsukkiYama Week 2020





	the beanie baby problem

**Author's Note:**

> the title is based off that one tumblr post, about an old couple divorcing and splitting their beanie baby collection 
> 
> also hah i like reusing things and i should probably think of new metaphors and things huh

“We’re dating,” Tsukishima said, in his most serious voice. Yamaguchi stood behind him, fighting a laugh. This was a prank, a lie, and partially forced, because Tsukishima’s mother found all the confession letters and empty chocolate boxes Tsukishima hid in his room and wanted to know why he didn’t have a girlfriend. He should’ve just thrown them away like Kageyama did, still in front of the girl and breaking her heart. But Tsukishima had the dignity to decline _politely,_ and he couldn’t necessarily refuse the chocolate. 

That was what led them to now, Tsukishima announcing it to the volleyball team. Yamaguchi tried not to grin, although maybe he was allowed to… since they were saying things like this. Except… the whole team was frozen.

“You’re… gay?” Kinoshita asked, somewhat warily. 

“Yes, got a problem with it?” Tsukishima said defensively. Another part of their fake dating scheme, pretending to be gay. 

“N-no! Just…” Kinoshita rubbed his neck awkwardly, “We just thought you guys were already dating.” Oh. No wonder Tsukki’s mom didn’t seem all that surprised. 

“Yeah! You guys are always together!” Tanaka shouted. 

“Then there isn’t a problem?” Tsukishima asked, bewildered. Tsukki was good at putting on an act. He seemed genuinely surprised.

“It doesn’t get in the way of teamwork, so no.” Daichi smiled and patted their backs. He clapped his hands, “Back to practice!”

Tanaka hooted and yelled for Suga to set for him. Tsukishima went with Narita and Asahi to work on blocks. Nishinoya wrangled him and Hinata into diving receives. Yamaguchi was left to think. The whole team had already thought about this. They thought Tsukki was actually dating him. They thought he was gay.

Yamaguchi couldn’t dwell on it too long. If he did, he would get distracted by the sheer idea of kissing Tsukki. Not that that was a bad thing. Yamaguchi only thought of Tsukishima as a friend though, he couldn’t imagine kissing or being Tsukishima’s boyfriend, despite what he was now. He’d never even considered boys as a romantic option. And Tsukishima was a best friend, not necessarily a brother or a love interest.

* * *

They dated for weeks. ...Or they were fake dating, Yamaguchi couldn’t tell the difference. Fake dating Tsukki was very similar to what they usually did. 

The only difference was that Tsukishima always asked, “Do you want to go on a date?” before anything and Yamaguchi couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Do you want to go on a date?”

“Sure!” Yamaguchi smiled. ‘Going on a date’ just became a code word for watching a documentary or eating at the cafe. Which, in hindsight, were very date-like things. Today was a documentary day. They were staying at Tsukishima’s house, Tsukishima laid across the couch and Yamaguchi curled up on the ground. Tsukishima put his hand on Yamaguchi’s head and smiled softly.

“You choose the video tonight.” 

“Uhh,” Yamaguchi searched through Tsukishima’s DVD collection. Most of them were dinosaur or history documentaries. Most of them, Yamaguchi has seen at least five times. Digging into the box, Yamaguchi tried to find the less watched documentaries. “What’s this?” 

Tsukishima glanced over at Yamaguchi. “Dunno, I think it’s new.” 

Yamaguchi flipped the case over. “Big Cats?” Yamaguchi looked at the cover, showing a pride of lions. “Wanna watch it Tsukki?” 

“Sure.” Yamaguchi got up and slid the disc into the player. Then, he turned on the TV. 

As the opening music played, Yamaguchi sat back on the ground. “You can sit up here y’know.” Tsukishima mumbled. Yamaguchi glanced up at him. 

“Okay Tsukki!” he smiled and climbed onto the couch. Tsukishima moved his legs over and Yamaguchi curled into one side of the couch. He yawned. “So, are you getting into nature documentaries now?”

Tsukishima watched him from the other end of the couch. “I’ve always been into them,” he grumbled. 

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi teased, “I don’t think dinosaurs count as nature documentaries. They’re different categories.” 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Why are you over there?”

“What do you mean?” Yamaguchi asked. 

“Don’t couples usually cuddle on movie night?” 

Yamaguchi’s eyes now widened in surprise. He supposed that _if_ they were a really couple, they’d probably be cuddling and kissing by now. “O-oh.” Yamaguchi crawled across the coach and gingerly snuggled against Tsukki. Tsukishima slung his arm over Yamaguchi and they fell silent. 

Fifteen minutes into the documentary, Tsukishima snorted and said, “Hey look, it’s Kuroo.” Yamaguchi had almost fallen asleep in Tsukishima’s warmth. He glanced to the screen, the slightly fuzzy images sharpening. A pack of hyenas were howling and cackling on the screen. Surrounding a single lioness, they tried to tackle her to death. The largest one had an eerily similar laugh and hair to Kuroo’s. (Or maybe Kuroo had an eerily similar laugh to the hyenas.) Yamaguchi sighed tiredly. Maybe… just maybe… he fell asleep on Tsukki’s shoulder again.

* * *

“Do you want to go on a date?” Tsukishima smiled at Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi noticed it now, the way Tsukki’s eyes lit up and shined. They looked like golden amber or melted sunlight. Yamaguchi was learning to love them. 

Yamaguchi nodded. “To the museum then.” Tsukishima said, quieter so the passing dumbass-teammates wouldn’t hear. Yamaguchi hummed in agreement, even though he was confused. The museum? Wasn’t that a little expensive? The closest one was in Sendai, which wasn’t far, but _still._ He didn’t need to go to a museum to have a good time with Tsukki. 

It didn’t particularly matter what Yamaguchi wanted or needed. Tsukishima was determined to go to the Sendai Museum. Yamaguchi didn’t mind, he liked seeing Tsukki so happy. Even if he never quite understood the appeal of standing in front of a bunch of model dinosaurs. There were parts of the museum Yamaguchi did like, the astronomy section and the planetarium. Tsukki’s honest grin when he saw a real sized mode of a triceratops. 

Yamaguchi also liked eating lunch at the small cafe. They had toasted sandwiches and sweet cakes. 

“Tadashi.” Yamaguchi jerked his head towards Tsukishima. No one really called him his given name, not when his father worked abroad and his mother was dead. No one called him Tadashi anymore. He wasn’t used to it. At all. And the way Tsukki said it, softly… like it was unintentional and wasn’t supposed to be heard. So Yamaguchi pretended not to hear it.

“What do you wanna eat Tsukki?” 

“Just a sandwich, turkey and wheat. I’ll order, you sit.” Yamaguchi surveyed the area. Most of the tables were taken by mothers with crying children or young people on a date. Yamaguchi quickly spotted a small table by the window. As he weaved through the tables, he realized that _he_ was a ‘young person on a date’.

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima was sitting across from him, now. He’d gotten lost in thought. “Here.” Tsukishima handed him a grilled cheese sandwich. Tsukki knew him so well… he even got fries with their sandwiches. Yamaguchi bit into the warm bread. Tsukki was amazing. Yamaguchi knew this already. Tsukishima was considerate. He knew all of Yamaguchi’s favorites. Tsukishima gave him a small smile and Yamaguchi basked in it. He was learning to enjoy that smile. Tsukki only ever smiled at him like that. It was _his_ smile. 

* * *

Sometime later, after the planetary show and wandering around the small petting zoo area, they went home. Yamaguchi waited for the right. moment. 

“Tsukki…” Yamaguchi had things to say. 

“Hm?”

“Want… want to break up?” Yamaguchi slowed down. Tsukishima slowed with him. 

“Why?” Tsukishima’s voice broke slightly. Yamaguchi didn’t know what he was doing. He wanted to go back. 

“‘Cause! W-well this was all a prank anyway so…” Yamaguchi flailed around, trying to figure out what he was going to say. “S-since everyone thought we were dating already… wouldn’t it be more shocking if we broke up!” Yamaguchi was panicking. It wasn’t like he didn’t like fake-dating Tsukki, it just wasn’t necessary now for their relationship. What did Tsukki think? They weren’t actually dating, it wouldn’t hurt, it wouldn’t affect them that much… right?

“Okay.” Tsukishima’s words were short and chopped. He started walking again. “But. If we’re going to break up, we have to _act_ like it.” He punctuated the word act. 

It was Tsukki’s idea after that. They would showcase it. It would be dramatic. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had a shared collection of stuffed animals, started by a single stegosaurus plush. They would bring all of them to afternoon practice and work through splitting the collection in half, as if saying “I’m done with sharing my life with you”. (And hopefully, Daichi wouldn’t yell too much for this huge disruption to practice.) It would be both embarrassing and hopefully effective. Then, they would have to act like a broken-up couple and deal with consequences. 

“You can’t follow me around or eat lunch with me anymore. We have to be _convincing_.” Tsukishima said. Yamaguchi looked over their written plan. Tomorrow was Monday and he was responsible for bringing the collection. It would be hard, there were probably over a hundred plushies. 

* * *

“Where’s Yamaguchi?” Yamaguchi heard Tanaka ask, from outside the gym. He hid around the corner, holding bags of stuffed animals. If anyone saw him, they’d think he was bringing some big surprise for the team. He supposed he was. 

“I don’t know.” He heard Tsukki say.

“Huh, it’s not like him to be late.” Yamaguchi was regretting this. Maybe he could just leave the bags outside. 

“Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima stood in front of him. His voice was icily cold and Yamaguchi wasn’t used to it. Just an act, Yamaguchi reminded himself. He wasn’t a good actor. 

“Yamaguchi. The bags.” Yamaguchi looked down at the blue plastic bags. Then up to Tsukki. 

“Let’s go.” He smiled, but Tsukishima didn’t. 

  
  


“What’re you doing?” Noya asked Yamaguchi as he emptied the bags in the corner. 

“Working through divorce custody agreements.” Tsukishima stated, looming over both of them. 

“You got married?!” Noya yelled. Yamaguchi flinched and gave a nervous chuckle. 

“That’s what he gets from our statement?” Tsukishima bent down to help Yamaguchi spread the toys. 

“I guess.” Yamaguchi said, in a hushed voice.

“Tsukishima! Yamaguchi! What are you doing? Get back to practice!” Ukai called from his seat.

“Working through divorce agreements.” Tsukishima said again, no sign of joy or joking in his voice. Ukai now seemed bewildered. He got up to look at their collection. 

“What’s this?” 

“Uh, it’s our shared collection.” Yamaguchi said awkwardly. He really hoped this would work, at least in the shock department. 

“And you brought it because…”

Tsukishima sighed. “We’re breaking up. We need to go through our shared belongings and split custody.” 

Ukai looked confused. Yamaguchi couldn’t blame him, he was severely regretting this plan. “Do it later then a-“ “It’s already here, it’ll take longer to put it away.” Ukai sighed. Yamaguchi could tell they were getting on his nerves. “Whatever, do it here. Just don’t distract the others, and an extra five laps each tomorrow.” 

* * *

Splitting the plushies took longer than Yamaguchi expected. There were givens, like Tsukki took all the dinosaurs and Yamaguchi took all the birds. After that, there were miscellaneous animals and Beanie Babies that would probably be worth money if they held onto them long enough. 

“You take Sunny.” Tsukishima handed Yamaguchi a yellow stegosaurus plush. Yamaguchi looked at Sunny. The oldest plushie and the starter of their collection. 

“Ok…” Yamaguchi looked across the pile. It was smaller than when they started. “You pick next then.” 

By the end of practice, the pile was split rather evenly between them. Yamaguchi had a few more than Tsukishima, an extra flamingo plush and a goat. Hinata tried to take one, but Tsukishima didn’t let him. He seemed… angry.

* * *

Tsukishima ignored him after that. Yamaguchi told himself it was an act. They just fake dated and pretended to break up. They were still friends, even if Tsukishima disappeared before they could eat lunch together. Even if it almost seemed like they weren’t friends. 

Yamaguchi spent most of his time with Hinata after that. He ate lunch with Kageyama. It was weird… he couldn’t even _find_ Tsukki at lunch. Eventually, Yamaguchi was forced to see how pretending would be. 

Lonely.

  
  


“Why did you date Stingyshima anyway?” Hinata asked good naturedly. It was a Sunday and by the plan Tsukishima made, Yamaguchi wasn’t allowed to hang out with him. Yamaguchi didn’t get it. Even if they broke up, it was fake and no one would see them together on the weekend. Hinata bounced on his feet, trying to get to Yamaguchi’s height. They were going to the park. “Yamaguchi?” 

“Huh? Oh that was a joke. Tsukki just sees me as a friend.”

Hinata stopped to look at Yamaguchi skeptically. “You sure? Tsukishima only smiles or laughs with _you._ I bet he’s in love.” Hinata stabbed his finger at Yamaguchi’s chest. “And what do you mean, a joke?”

“It was a prank. And Tsukki smiles and laughs with other people too.” Yamaguchi explained.

“Nuh-uh.” Hinata said, matter of factly. “Stingyshima never smiles, and he’s super mean!” Hinata grinned at Yamaguchi. Hinata must’ve been kidding Yamaguchi, because it simply wasn’t true. Tsukishima was nice and considerate. Tsukishima smiled and laughed a lot. When they were watching movies. When they ate at cafes. When they found something new to explore. It dawned on Yamaguchi that Hinata had never seen or done any of these things with them. 

It was always Tsukishima and Yamaguchi against the world. They really were inseparable. Well… except for now. 

“Tsukki _is_ nice.” Yamaguchi told Hinata. 

Hinata just shrugged. “Let’s play volleyball!” He shouted as they arrived at the park. 

* * *

Yachi was a good friend. Yamaguchi liked her. Like a short lived crush, back when she first joined the team. Yamaguchi thought about what he liked about her. She was nice and helpful. She was cute and determined. She was blond. All of these could be applied to Tsukki if he tried… Tsukki was blond. He was cute and handsome, but not determined. Instead of being determined, he was logical and conserved energy. Those were still admirable traits. Tsukki was nice and helpful… to him… sometimes. 

“Yamaguchi?” 

“What?” Yamaguchi snapped out of thinking. He forgot, they were supposed to be studying. 

“Yamaguchi.” Yachi repeated. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been spacing out this this whole time.” 

“Oh uh, yeah I’m fine.” Yamaguchi looked around the table. They were all studying English at Yachi’s house. 

“What’s ‘chicken’ supposed to be again?” 

“It’s ‘kitchen’, dumbass!” 

Right… Tsukishima wasn’t here. He wouldn’t be caught anywhere near the monster-dumbass-duo. They still got confused over simple words. 

“I’m gonna go now…” Yamaguchi mumbled, getting out of his seat. Yachi looked worried so he gave her a tired smile. 

* * *

Yamaguchi missed Tsukishima. It was inevitable. It was what happened when you separated friends like Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi didn’t believe in soulmates, but if he did: he and Tsukki were made from the same star. 

And Tsukishima seemed fine without him. That was what hurt most. He was still just as cool and blunt. People might not believe it, Hinata sure didn’t, but Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had a two way relationship. Anyone would’ve thought that Yamaguchi was the runt, a puppy that followed it’s master. Anyone would’ve thought that Tsukishima was the leader, the master that had complete control over his servant. But it wasn’t like that. Yamaguchi protected Tsukki from thinking about his insecurities. Tsukishima protected Yamaguchi from other people’s judgments. So it hurt most to see Tsukishima not needing him.

Yamaguchi didn’t know anything. Time passed and Tsukishima still avoided him. He practiced with Kageyama instead, while Yamaguchi worked with Suga. But two weeks passed. Ukai didn’t say anything. It didn’t affect playing. They were still civil. Just not quite friends. 

* * *

“I guess this is what it feels like to break up…” Yamaguchi sighed as he opened his locker. Inside, on the top self was a small fuzzy dog. Yamaguchi looked at it in confusion. 

He took it out and inspected it. The stuffed animal was older and soft. It was one of the animals that Tsukishima had taken with him, now almost three weeks ago. Being away from Tsukki made him realize a lot of things. How much he needed Tsukki, mostly. 

Noticing a tag on the animal, Yamaguchi untied the string around its neck. He opened the small slip of paper. A faded yellow paper that Yamaguchi had only ever used at Tsukishima’s house. 

_I’m sorry._ The note said. Yamaguchi recognized the neat handwriting as Tsukki’s. Sorry for what, Yamaguchi didn’t know. He tried to talk about it, but Tsukishima was still clearly avoiding him. 

* * *

The next morning, it was a rabbit plush intended for babies. The note around its neck was written in pen. _I needed time._ It said. 

Yamaguchi decided to write a note back. Should he include a stuffed animal? He asked Suga, because Hinata would tease Tsukki about it and Kageyama was too socially inept to help. 

“Well, I think Tsukishima is trying his best to say sorry for avoiding you. Even if it’s through a slightly strange method… but it’s cute!” Suga said. 

“But he’s still avoiding me.” Yamaguchi complained. 

“Well, it’d probably be a bit awkward because he’s been avoiding you so long.” 

Yamaguchi sighed and looked at his note. _It’s okay._ He'd written. _I’ll wait for you._ He added. 

He punched a hole into the top and threaded a ribbon through it. Yamaguchi tied the lavender ribbon around a cat plushie’s neck. The black cat’s big green glass eyes stared up at him, asking _Why do you care?_

Finding Tsukishima’s locker was easy. Yamaguchi had been there so many times, it was ingrained into his brain. He even knew the code. 

* * *

The next morning, a wolf held the note: _Thank you._

The day after that, the age old companion to Sunny appeared. A matching purple stegosaurus, named Wisteria. Around its middle, a bright yellow string tied a note on top of it. Yamaguchi unfolded it. 

_I love you._

  
  


Maybe it was always there. The never ending love between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Maybe that’s why he cared. From afar, Yamaguchi noticed all the small things he took for granted once. The way Tsukki so nonchalantly sat in his chair. The way the sun hit his hair to make it look like summer. The way he every so often still glanced at Yamaguchi in his seat. And Yamaguchi fell in love all over again.

Yamaguchi remembered two times in his childhood. A time before Tsukki and a time after Tsukki. 

Before Tsukki, the world seemed cold and dark. Bigger boys pushed him and teachers never took his side. After Tsukki, the world had color. He had a friend and Tsukki was always his light in the dark. 

* * *

Seeing Tsukishima in front of Yamaguchi’s locker was a rare sight these days. But here Tsukki was, standing right in front of Yamaguchi’s locker. 

“Tsukki… what’s up?” Yamaguchi looked around nervously. He had to play it cool now. He was failing miserably.

“I love you.” 

“I know.” Yamaguchi tried not to stutter. “I love you too…” He trailed off, looking at the ground now. 

He looked up half a second later. Tsukishima was smiling, probably the widest he’d ever seen.

“Wanna date for real then?”

**Author's Note:**

> imagine if yamaguchi said no
> 
> ok ok so i reused the stegosaurus plushies from a different fic, i imagine they look like this the bellzi plush but a different color
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
